Romance

Special days are the hardest.

I couldn't be with my baby on valentines...but we had our own little evening together, sent each other cards and gifts, gifts that we had put more time and effort into than money, and it was really nice :-) But it wasn't being there with each other. The only positive I can take from it is that there is no way I will ever take this girl for granted, because being apart makes me appreciate the value she holds in my heart :-)

We will make up for missing valentines when I get to see her in March. That and our anniversary and her birthday. wow. I hope never to not be in her life for the rest of these special occasions. God I love her!

Weekends are the best chance we have to talk to each other because neither of us has school, thats why it means so much when we do have a really long Friday together on the webcam :-) Unfortunately sometimes we don't always get the chance, but its at least comforting to know that I will (hopefully) always be in her mind, in the same way that I'm constantly thinking about her!

Lent starts soon...what to give up? For me its going to be alcohol, I'm not an addict or anything but do drink, tho a lot less now than in my old student days ! It should be easy, but it means more to me that the next time I have alcohol will be a glass of champagne or wine or cocktail or beer when I'm in a restaurant with my baby :-) And yes we've already picked the restaurant and pretty much chosen what we're gonna eat. Are we excited? you bet!

OK - -

Happy Valentines to the one I love so much, my baby, my sexy baby butt, my wonderful girlfriend Nicole!

It might not be a prize winner but it makes me happy to see it :-)

<3 <3 <3 xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx

Block

Nicole: you haven't written on the blog for ages
Me: I don't know what to write about...
Nicole: Just write what you feel


So here goes, I'm not writing a blog that will educate, advise or be publishable but it will be my truth.I've had a bit of writing block on here, simply because I was worried that what I write will be no good or have no relevance. So I shall describe everything I've thought about today...nicole based of course...

Welll I woke up, then fell back to sleep. Yeah Nicole was able to tell me everything that had happened between me sleeping and waking up, and I was very proud of her achievements...then did I make her feel loved and needed by staying awake and talking to her? Maybe playing a little online game? or just listening to her talk? No. I fell back asleep. And now I regret it mucho because she's going to be waking up and getting ready for school, then going to school, then it'll be my night time and argh its a bleeding nightmare!! The amount of times that I sit here watching her sleep feeling like I want to wake her up is mammoth, but I don't do it because a) its actually difficult as hell! b) I know she needs sleep because more than likely she has stayed up late to see me when I wake up. But I always wish upon a wish she will wake up so I can talk to her...and sometimes it makes me feel greedy for always hoping / expecting her to be awake and ready to talk to me yet I struggle so much making the same commitment for her, like I hate how she is alone at night in her apartment all the time whilst I sleep. But as Nicole commented before, that is the harsh reality of an 8 hour time difference :-( The weird thing is that I always crave her attention and awakeness, and then sometimes when she does wake up I'm inattentive and neglectful --> its like WTF? I have no idea why I do it but it must feel like poo for her :-( So this is my promise...no more shall it happen! When baby is online its ME and BABY time only. My work [by which I of course mean the procrastination that work brings] will be done in other hours or when baby has work too.

Anyways so I have my plan, stay up late tonight to protect my baby from the stalker, to spend time talking to her, and I shall pretend to try and get some work done.

Jonny :-) x x

p.s. I hope if I "accidently" unmute my microphone she might wake up...." heheh joking